Ep 04 – Family is more than blood

Hi Diwa…

A few days ago, we celebrated your baptism.

You were tiny. Confused. Probably wondering why so many adults suddenly wanted to carry you around and take photos with you.

Honestly? Typical Filipino family event chaos. But while everyone was gathered together, I found myself thinking a lot about family. And one thing I hope you understand as you grow older is this:

Family is not only about blood. Yes, blood family matters. Of course it does. But some of the people who will love you the deepest in this life may not share your last name at all.

Some friends become family. Some people enter your life and protect your peace, encourage your growth, tell you the truth when you need it, and stand beside you during difficult seasons. That kind of love matters too.

And honestly? Some blood relatives will not always understand you. Some people will share your DNA but not necessarily your values, your heart, or your well-being. And that’s okay. Because life eventually teaches you that proximity is not always the same thing as safety.

Now before you grow up and suddenly start calling every random person “family” after knowing them for three weeks… let me also teach you something important:

Not everyone is your friend. I know that sounds harsh. Especially when you’re little and still believe everyone is nice. But one of the biggest lessons in life is learning discernment. Because every person you allow close to you influences you somehow.

Their mindset.

Their habits.

Their values.

The way they treat people.

The way they treat themselves.

All of that slowly rubs off on you.

Which is why your father and I will probably seem a little protective sometimes when it comes to the people around you. Not because we want to control your life.

But because it’s our job to help you learn the difference between people who truly care about you… and people who simply want access to you.

Those are not the same thing. And trust me, Diwa… you will meet people in life who feel exciting at first but leave you feeling small afterward. Pay attention to that.

Real friendship should not constantly leave you anxious, drained, insecure, or afraid to be yourself.

Real friends feel safe. Not perfect. Not fake nice. Not people who agree with everything you say. Just safe. People who don’t make you betray yourself in order to belong.

And honestly?

I think one of the saddest things in the world is how badly human beings want acceptance. People will ignore red flags, silence their instincts, and abandon themselves completely just to avoid feeling left out.

Please don’t do that. I would rather see you alone and peaceful than surrounded by people who slowly destroy your spirit. And I hope you also become the kind of friend who protects people too.

The kind who is honest.

Loyal.

Kind.

Emotionally safe.

Because relationships shape lives more than people realise.

Anyway… that’s all for today, Diwa.

And maybe someday, when you’re older, you’ll understand why your father and I care so much about who enters your life.

Not everyone deserves access to your heart.

Keep becoming. We love you.

Xo, Mama and Dada

Words on a page only go so far.
Hear this letter exactly as it was spoken.